Why Do Guys Ghost Girls?

You have been texting back and forth with this guy for a while, he has been getting more and more interested in you to the point where he wants to meet up in person, but then he all of a sudden goes completely cold on you. He stops responding to your texts and doesn’t answer your phone calls. What could be happening?

Ghosting is the act of suddenly cutting contact with someone – either in person or online – without any notice. It can happen in a romantic relationship, with friends, or colleagues at work. Ghosting is a relatively new phenomenon in the dating world. In the past, feelings would develop for someone, and then that person would return the feelings. Ghosting is an extreme display of how quickly things can change – it’s a self-centered way to cut off a relationship without any consideration for the other person’s feelings.

In this post, we are going to be looking at why guys ghost girls, and how ghosting affects relationships. Let’s have a look at some reasons that guys might ghost a girl:

39 Reasons Why He Ghosted You

1. He could have lost interest in you

It happens all the time, guys think they are in love with a girl and they want to get to know the girl more, but after getting better acquainted they find out that she is not as good as they thought. He realized that she is not as good a fit as he originally thought. That’s why he’s done. He might not want to be mean about it, so his ghosting is a nice way of not hurting your feelings but still cutting ties with you.

2. He’s already in a relationship

He could be already sharing his life with someone else, and he doesn’t want to risk being in a new relationship. But he doesn’t want to lead you on either, so he ghosting makes it easy for him to ignore your calls and texts and not hurt your feelings. It’s really a non-verbal way of saying “I’m not interested”.

3. He likes you but is afraid of commitment

This could be a problem if he is afraid that getting in a relationship will be too much for him, and he doesn’t have the confidence to make it work. He’s trying to tell you with his silence that he’s not sure if he can commit to you yet. He’s hoping that his silence will make you back off and give him some time to get his head straight and figure out what he wants.

4. He no longer has access to a phone or email account

You have been consistently texting him, but you have been getting no response, so you go on Facebook or Instagram to see if he was there, but it seems like he ‘s not online. Maybe he changed his name or deleted his social media account to avoid your texts. So what could be happening? Maybe he lost access to his phone and social media accounts due to something in his life like moving home, or being in the hospital for an extended period of time.

5. He’s moving to another country for work

He might want to pursue a career that doesn’t allow him to stay in your area. He was interested in you, but after some time he realized that a long distance relationship with you isn’t what he wants, and so he decides to ghost you and start something new with somebody else in his new city. You might be feeling rejected now, but he is trying to make the best of it, so he is avoiding any direct contact to minimize the pain.

6. He’s dealing with a medical condition or family crisis

One of his family members may have had a sudden death or is very sick, and he does not have time for a relationship. He is too focused on helping his family to have the time to respond to your texts. It’s not that he’s ignoring your calls to hurt you, it’s that he has too much on his plate at the moment. You might have to wait until he sorts this out, so that he can focus on being in a relationship with you.

7. He’s afraid that you are just using him for money

Before getting into a serious relationship with you, he wants to be sure that you are not going to ask for money or try to pressure him into buying things for you. He’s probably seen a lot of girls that are only interested in rich guys, and he thinks that you are one of them. This thought is keeping him away from you at the moment, and he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

8. He has a problem with alcohol or drugs

This is a very real thing that happens to more guys than we can imagine. He could be suffering from an addiction, and he doesn’t want to bring you into his world of addiction. He’s trying to avoid being around you while he tries to get over his addiction. He’s afraid that if he is around you, he’ll always want to get high. If he hasn’t outright told you that he has this problem, it’s up to you to do some research and find out if he does. It’s important to remember in these moments that his substance abuse is not your fault.

9. He is in jail or prison

This one might be hard to hear but there are lots of guys who end up in jail for one reason or another, and they aren’t allowed to communicate while they are serving their time. But after they are released, you will have the opportunity to talk again. For now, you’ll have to wait until his sentence is up. He will call or text as soon as he can! It could be a few months or a few years, depending on the crime.

10. He is in a new relationship and wants some time away from you

He might have met somebody that he really likes and wants to spend all of his time with. This is a very common thing, especially in the world we live in now. He might not want to be around you at all right now and he wants a break from you. He knows that you really like him, but he is trying to focus on his new relationship with this other girl. It’s going to hurt, but you will have to let him go for a little while.

11. You guys are too different and don’t see eye to eye.

This is by far the saddest thing that can happen to a guy if he is trying to get into a serious relationship with you. He likes you, but he has realized that things are just not going well between the two of you. This could be because of your career, family situation, relationship status, or many other reasons. Either way, he is trying to try and find the perfect woman for him. You might have been thinking about him all day or every day, but he isn’t into you like that anymore.

12. He is going through a tough time in his life right now

You believe you have finally found the guy that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and before you can even tell him how you feel, he is dealing with some major problems in his life. Sometimes the best thing for him to deal with is to take some space. He probably needs time to think about things and clear his mind. He will come back to you eventually, just be patient with him.

13. He is having financial problems or has other troubles in life

Maybe he is having a really bad year. Something is really wrong in his life, and you can see the change in him. He is not responding to you the way that he used to before, and he isn’t as happy or charming and fun. It could be because of finances, problems at work, or other such things that are going on with him. Let him handle them on his own for a while and give him space to think about everything.

14. His phone got broken or lost and the number changed

You are really upset and wondering where he is, but the truth is that you have had a misunderstanding. He wasn’t really doing anything wrong, and it was just a matter of a phone getting lost or stolen. Sometimes you need to be patient and understand that things happen that you have no control over. Don’t let your frustration get the best of you and be willing to give him a chance to explain everything.

15. He got sick or injured

This would be a very difficult time for any of us, but if the guy you are seeing is in the hospital being treated for cancer or something that’s obviously very serious. This is not the time to schedule your next date. He is experiencing a lot of pain and suffering. Give him time to heal and work through whatever he is going through. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Instead, really think about what needs to be done for him, and do the best you can.

16. He got an unexpected promotion

Getting an unexpected promotion can be the perfect thing for any person. It might be an immediate promotion, or can come with a corner office, increased salary and more responsibilities. It is best for him to take some time to process the change in his life, and to take some time away from work to relax and unwind. He’s probably exhausted and needs some rest. Just give him a chance to come back to you when the time is right.

17. You are too clingy

You are such a great girl, and you deserve somebody that wants to be there for you and never leaves you. But he definitely doesn’t want that from you. He wants some space in his life where he can have fun and live his own life. You need to understand this about him and realize that he has feelings for you as well. Sometimes, guys just don’t like being controlled by girls all the time. There are loads of things that he likes, and he wants to be able to explore them without worrying about you feeling too attached. Give him that space.

18. He is getting back together with an ex-girlfriend, and he doesn’t want to hurt you

It might shock you, but he wants to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. So many guys do this because they know that their ex-girlfriend is a better match for them in the long run. This can really hurt if you liked him and cared about him, but it happens all the time. You have to accept that this is what he needs to do at the moment, and he is trying to avoid hurting you.

19. He’s married or in a committed relationship

It might seem like he’s into you, but in reality, he is married or in another committed relationship that he is not going to give up. He can’t be seen with you in public so that he doesn’t get caught. It is best to just take a step back and release him from your thoughts. He is not going to come out and tell you that he’s married or in a committed relationship. This kind of guy knows how to keep secrets. You have to accept that he will never be yours and move on from him.

20. He’s a player and doesn’t want any ties.

Ghosting is a way for guys to avoid confrontation, and allows him to make an exit quickly if he feels that he is wasting his time with a girl or if she is becoming too clingy in her behavior towards him . It also allows him the freedom of dating many girls if he wants to do so. A good player will see a girl as just a one night stand or a fling and then hurry out of the door without a single goodbye or explanation. It is best to stay away from these guys, because you deserve better than that.

21. He doesn’t think that you are good enough or smart enough

If this guy is really ignoring your calls or text messages, then there is a good chance that it’s because of his ego. He might feel like you are not good enough for him, or that you are not smart enough to hold a conversation with him. He thinks you are beneath him, and his ego won’t let him even give you a chance. It’s not your fault and you don’t have to try to impress him. You have to remember that you are amazing, and that there are tons of other guys out there who think that you are great.

22. He is not attracted to you anymore

If he’s lost feelings for you, it probably won’t work out between you. He doesn’t feel any emotions towards you anymore, and he might have moved on. He wants to tell you the truth about his feelings, but he also doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. It’ best for him to just avoid you completely and move on with his life. Sometimes you have to live with the fact that he just doesn’t like you anymore, and that can be really hard to accept.

23. He is still dealing with a breakup of his previous relationship

This kind of guy is still dealing with his emotional issues after a recent breakup. This can be very hard for him, and he might not even want to speak to you at all right now. He doesn’t want to hurt you, so he is trying to avoid you until he is ready to face his problems. It will take a little while for him to get over everything, and he needs to sort out everything in his mind before he can commit to another girl. When he is finally ready for another relationship, you will have the first pick again if he still likes you.

24. He is too busy with work

He’s doing something important at work and might be too busy to talk to you. He doesn’t have the time for anyone who interrupts or will delay him, and your text messages are definitely distractions. He wants everything to go well and if there is something that distracts him, it could screw up the entire project. The best thing for him is to just focus on what he needs to do with his career right now. Eventually, he will come back to you, but it might be some time before he does.

25. You don’t make him proud enough

He feels like you don’t make him proud enough in public, and he doesn’t think that you are the kind of girl that he wants to take around with him. He wants to show off to his friends that he has a pretty girl on his arm and he doesn’t want to be embarrassed in front of them. He’s trying to get you to change and be more like the kind of girl he wants to bring around, but it just isn’t working out. Eventually, he will come to the realization that you won’t change and he decides to move on.

26. He doesn’t like your friends or family members

If you have been dating for a little while now, he is probably starting to like you more and more. He really likes your personality and the way that you are with him. The only thing that is bothering him is your friends, family and other people around you. He doesn’t like them because they might be annoying or boring or rude to him. He is just not trying to deal with them right now, and you should be understanding about that.

27. He is afraid of your past relationships

This is a very common thing for guys to be afraid of. He might be afraid that you have a past history of horrible relationships and think that this will lead to the same thing happening again, or that you’re going to leave him for somebody else. He might actually have a valid reason for thinking this way, but having this in his mind will put a lot of stress on him. Eventually, you will have to show him that you are different and you are not going to do the same thing again.

28. You are too needy

He is not into needy girls, and he likes to be able to do his own thing without anybody controlling him. If you are always coming on to him, texting him, begging him for things and being needy, he will definitely get really annoyed and stop talking to you. Sometimes you need to give him his space, and to let him do what he wants. Learn to play hard to get a bit and you’ll find that it’s going to make him really attracted to you. Nobody likes feeling like they are being chased by someone all of the time, and that is why you have to keep your distance.

29. He has trust issues

Some people can be very paranoid and handle their relationships differently than other people do. It is possible that he has trust issues, and he feels like he would be foolish to get too close to you. He might be scared that you will try to take advantage of him and use him in some way. If this is the case, it’s going to make it very hard for you two to get along well together because of this fear that he has. You have to know that he really does want to get something serious with you, but until he’s ready for that, there’s nothing you can do about it.

30. He has low self-esteem

The most obvious reasons why guys ghost are low self-esteem and low confidence. He might feel like he doesn’t deserve you if he does not have a high-paying job, or if he is not highly educated. He might feel like he needs to have all of these things before he can even think about getting serious with you. There are loads of thing that can make him feel low about himself, and it’s your job to help him show his value. He is worth more than a lot of people, so don’t ever let him think that he is not.

31. You are too mushy or teary

You engage in too much cuddling or mushiness, which might not be attractive to him. If you really love him, you need to be the strong one that he can always count on without any doubts. He will need to know that he can trust you 100% so that there is no need for any doubts left between the two of you. Don’t try to be too girly for him or else he might run away from you. Do some research about how to be a strong, independent woman, and you’ll see that he can’t resist you.

32. He doesn’t feel a spark anymore

If you’ve been dating a guy for a really long time, you need to understand that feelings can change. Maybe at the beginning of your relationship, you felt the same way that he did, but over time, that feeling can become boring and annoying. Nobody likes to feel bored, and nobody wants to feel like they are stuck in a dead relationship with someone. There are tons of things that can make both of you feel like this, and a lot of it can be fixed with a little bit of effort. Try to do something new, or maybe just take a break from each other.

33. He doesn’t want to apologize for his wrongs

No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes sometimes. He might have said something to you that hurt your feelings, and he might not be apologizing for it. Many guys don’t really like to apologize, and they get angry when they are told that they have done something wrong. He knows that he is at fault, and he just won’t apologize because he thinks it makes him look weak. He might even ghost you forever because of this reason if you don’t stop pushing him to apologize.

34. He is just not ready to be in a serious relationship yet

No matter how much you love someone, they are not always going to feel the same way. Some people take longer to figure out what they want when it comes to relationships, and you have to accept that. His mind might be full of doubt, and he needs to get to the point where he knows what he wants, and that will take some time. Even if you are ready to have a serious relationship with him, he might not be ready for it. He does care about you and he does love you, but he is just not ready for a serious commitment yet.

35. You have different values

It’s easy to work together when you have the same values. It might be easy at first with a guy if you both have the same things in common, but over time, these things will change. You might find that you don’t have the same opinions when it comes to politics, or religion, or even finances. This might be hard to deal with because you’ll always be arguing about something, and he will probably grow tired of it. Both of you have to make compromises otherwise, it is just not going to work out between the two of you.

36. He just wanted to have fun

Some guys just want to have a good time with no strings attached. They just want to mess around for a couple of months and see where it goes. If he’s not really into you, then he won’t contact you again. There are tons of women out there that he could be with, so why would he want to stay with you? He might even lie about his number for the whole relationship if he doesn’t have any intention of seeing you again. Don’t be too upset about it, because he probably just doesn’t want to be tied down.

37. He is just using you for money or business connections

This one is the worst of all the reasons why guys ghost. There are some guys in the world who will do anything to make a quick buck, and they are willing to use anyone to achieve that goal. Maybe you are a rich girl , or you have some connections that will help him land a big job. He might be using you for these reasons only, and will disappear after he gets what he wanted. If you’ve been ghosted for this reason, you won’t be able to get him back. He just wants money and power, and that’s all that he cares about.

38. You are overly emotional

Many guys prefer the casual approach to relationships, and they don’t want to deal with those emotional girls. You might be a little bit too emotional and he is just not dealing with it. He isn’t really interested in your phone calls about your problems, or listening to you talk about how much breakups are hurting you. He doesn’t want to be around someone who is constantly crying, or who is a drama queen. That doesn’t help his day one bit, so he ’s just not going to deal with it. Don’t be a crybaby and you shouldn’t expect him to be a carny clown all of the time.

39. You don’t have any goals for the future

Every relationship needs goals to keep things fresh and interesting. What kind of relationship are you going to have with the guy? Is he just going to be your boyfriend when the school year is over, or are you in it for a serious relationship that he eventually wants to get married to? If you two don’t have a common goal for the future, then it will be very hard to stay together. Both of you need to have the same vision for the future or else the relationship will end up being just a fling.

Final thoughts

In every relationship, there are going to be ups and downs. Sometimes you will feel really happy, and other times you are going to feel really sad. It’s totally normal because that’s the way life is, and it’s something that you can’t control. No matter what the reason is, don’t beat yourself up over it. The important thing is to learn from the relationship and to improve yourself so that the next time something like this happens, you are better prepared for it.

Life is always changing and it’s never going to be perfect. Give yourself some time to heal and don’t try to dwell on the past too much. Look towards the future and be excited about your life. Stop regretting things that have happened in the past, because you can’t change them now anyway. All you can do is improve yourself and keep moving forward.  

 

Further Reading

 

 
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