What to Do When a Guy Ghosts You?

You had a great time with a guy. You had really great conversations, laughed all night long, and even hinted that you want to go on another date. Then, the day after you sleep over, he just stops talking to you. What is wrong with this guy? He was such a nice guy! Why did he just stop talking to you like that? It ‘s so painful to wait and wonder about it!

It can be easy to over-think this situation, and spend hours panicking. Sometimes, the guy you were seeing suddenly stops texting, and you have no idea why. He’s no longer responding to your messages, or returning your calls. You don’t know what happened.

Maybe you’re trying to be nice, and leave a window open for him. But you get the feeling that he ghosted on purpose, and has since stopped responding to your messages. He’s ditched you. Maybe you’re worried he’s not called you back because of something you did, or said. Maybe you think he got cold feet, and is now avoiding you altogether as a result.

Getting over someone can be tough. It’s like a broken leg that won’t heal, and all you want is for the pain to stop. You can either choose to be a silent victim, or you can take charge of your life and move on.

The good news is that you don’t have to sit around and wonder about your ex. You can get over him, and get on with the best possible future for yourself. You are not obligated to feel bad forever. There are many ways that you can get over him and move on. You just need to find the method that works best for you.

Let’s look at what you should do when a guy ghosts on you.

What to Do When He Ghosts You – 23 Tips for Ghosting Victims

1. Be Patient and Loving With Yourself

Give yourself time to heal and get yourself together. It’s important to be patient, loving and gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself for what happened. Blaming yourself will only add to your pain. Love yourself and create a list of what you love about yourself. This will help you find the positive aspects of who you are, and remind yourself of the good things about you. Trust that there is a man who will love you for you! Don’t settle for a man who only loves you for your looks. The right man for you will be attracted to your heart, soul, and mind!

2. Don’t Give Up on Him After Just One Ghosting Incident

It’s not hopeless! You can still win him back. The first time he ghosts, listen to your heart and decide whether he’s worth another try. If you really want him back, try sending a sweet message. Perhaps he just needed a little space. Maybe he’s just busy with work or family right now and will reach out to you when he has a chance. Try not to take it personally and place the blame on him. If he doesn’t reach out within a few weeks, give him a polite reminder before moving on.

3. Don’t Get Into a Power Struggle With Him

Men may have been attracted to you in the past because of your independence, but that doesn’t mean they want to continue dating someone who is too independent. You don’t need to compete with him. That would be a power struggle that will just make you both miserable. Instead of fighting him, be the more mature person by understanding that he may have gotten overwhelmed and needed a break. Just let him be and focus on being a better you.

4. Try Not to Be Afraid of Not Getting a Response

Send him gentle, kind messages and see how he responds. Instead of sending a nasty message, try sending a message that is light and positive. These types of messages are more likely to get a positive response. If he doesn’t respond right away, remember that he was probably overwhelmed. So give him time to come around and move past the issue.

5. Be Open to the Idea That He Might Want a Second Chance

Just because he ghosted doesn’t mean he’s not interested in dating you. It could be as simple as him needing time to get his life back on track. Maybe he was busy, or has been going through changes in his family. Be open to the possibility that he might be interested in a second chance. Remember, he might be eager to see you as soon as possible and apologize for his behavior.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Him Questions

If you’re wondering why he ghosted on you, ask him. Try to be kind and not too pushy. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, then don’t force the issue and leave him alone. If he’s willing to open up, listen to him and be compassionate. You need to realize that he might have been going through a difficult time. Be empathetic and understanding with him because that will help him open up more about his situation.

7. Don’t Doubt Yourself Too Much

The only person you need to be confident in is yourself. If a man doesn’t like you for who you are, then he’s not worth your time. Don’t focus on what he thinks of you. Instead, focus on what you like about yourself and what’s good about your life. Talk to other friends and family members about what you’re good at, and be confident in who you are. No matter what happens in a relationship, you have to make time for yourself. You can’t please everyone, and looking outside of yourself to please others will only lead to more hurt.

8. Try to Look Forward to a Possible Future Relationship

Okay, let’s face it: he ghosted you. That sucks. But it doesn’t mean that there isn’t any hope for a future relationship in your life. You have the opportunity to meet someone who is interested in getting to know you and learning more about who you are. It’s your decision whether you want to pursue a relationship with him or not. If he contacted you and apologized for ghosting, then that’s up to you to decide whether you want to give him a second chance. Remember what you learned from your experience, and use it to make better choices about the next guy you date.

9. Don’t Make Assumptions About Him or His Feelings

If you’re not sure why he ghosted on you, don’t assume the worst and believe that he has no interest in seeing you ever again. As mentioned before, he might have been going through a difficult time. Maybe he was in the middle of moving to a new city, changing jobs or dealing with an illness in his family. Most likely, he had his reasons for not contacting you back. Be compassionate and understanding with him, and try to learn about his situation. If you don’t know what happened, don’t assume the worst.

10.You Shouldn’t Take It Too Seriously

Maybe he is busy and will call you when he has time. He may have had a lot of things going on, and was overwhelmed by the situation. The important thing is that it’s not the end of the world and there are many things that you can do instead. Don’t feel like a loser or lost your chance. There are many great men out there who are looking for someone like you. Keep trying!

11. Don’t Expect Anything from Him

It’s time to stop looking for signs that he’ll call you or text you again. Stop waiting for his text or message to pop up on your phone screen. Even though you really want to hear from him again, don’t expect anything. Think about it. If you keep waiting for him to call or message you, then you’ll never get over him. Therefore, you’ll become a needy, clingy person who won’t let go of him. Either you want to continue to look for those little signs that he might contact you again, or move on and leave him in the past. The choice is yours.

12. Try Not to Be Too Hard on Yourself

Do you always think to yourself, “What did I do wrong?” or “Why couldn’t I have done something to keep him in my life?” Well, stop it. You shouldn’t self-blame for what happened. Sometimes breakups are beyond our control and it has nothing to do with us. We also have to remember that all these thoughts and negative feelings are part of the healing process. Once you figure this out, it will make you stronger and help you move forward.

13. Don’t Expect That You’ll Get Any Explanations

You try to contact him once again, hoping that he will finally give you a reason for why he left. But he has nothing to tell you. You cannot control what another person does or thinks; however, there are ways to avoid getting yourself in this situation again. It’s his way of telling you that he has “no interest” in you. But, as a ghosting victim, you cannot and should not keep chasing him. That will only lead to more pain, hurt, and misery.

14. Don’t Be Afraid to Move On

Moving on can be tough, but it’s necessary. When you keep looking for him on Facebook or his number, you will only make things harder. You need to stop trying to get in touch with him. Instead of calling or texting him, be more productive in your life. Go out with friends and start a new project, watch a movie, go for a run, or work on your hobbies. You can also join a club, volunteer, or spend more time with family. There are so many things you can do to get out of the house, and busy yourself with things that you enjoy.

15. Don’t Be Angry at Yourself

It’s normal to feel hurt after a breakup, but don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself and say, “It’s all my fault. I did something wrong.” It feels like your world is crashing down and you’re responsible for it. But no one is perfect, we all make mistakes. It’s important to let go of your anger and avoid self-deprecation. When you get over a breakup, look at it as an opportunity to grow stronger and more confident. It’s not all bad. You will learn and grow from this experience. Remember to look at it as an opportunity to learn about yourself and who you are as an individual.

16. Don’t Be Afraid of Next Time

Don’t be afraid of dating again. It’s time to find yourself in the dating scene. You shouldn’t let your past experiences make you afraid of love or relationships. If there’s a guy out there who really makes your heart beat harder, then go for it. Stop looking over your shoulder for a glimpse of him coming back into your life. You don’t want to be the girl who waits for a guy who will never come back. Leave him in the past and look forward to meeting someone new.

17. Don’t Give Up On Yourself

Breakups suck, but don’t give up on yourself. You might think that it’s your responsibility for what happened because after all, the breakup is your fault. No matter what happens, you have to remember that you can’t control other people’s emotions and reactions. But you can control your own emotions, choices, and reactions. It’s your life and your body, so you can’t let anyone else take control of who you are.

18. Don’t Be Afraid of Being Lonely

It’s normal to feel lonely after a breakup, especially when you’re still dealing with the trauma of what happened. However, don’t be too hard on yourself, and put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Take it easy for a while and give your emotions a break. If you don’t feel like getting out of the house, then don’t. It’s okay to watch a movie in bed or stay home alone and eat whatever you want. You will get over it, and it will be better in the end because you will learn from this experience.

19. Enjoy Your Life

Don’t let a breakup steal your joy. Enjoy every moment of your life even if there is no man in your story. You can have a great life no matter if you are single or in a relationship. Being single isn’t scary because it means you don’t have to constantly compromise about your life or feelings. You have the freedom to do whatever you want and be whoever you want. So seize this opportunity, enjoy this moment and live in the present.

20. Let Him Go

It’s not easy to let go of a man who you love, but this is what you need to do if you want to move on with your life. It may take time, and you will have to work on yourself to get over this. However, you don’t have to make him your enemy just because he ghosted on you. Instead, appreciate the time you had together. Don’t hold on to those negative feelings that you have towards him. Let him go and let the past stay in the past.

21. Don’t Try to Change the Guy’s Behavior

If you want guys to behave the way you want them to, then forget it. Even if you’re the most beautiful and intelligent woman, guys will still do the things they want to do. You can change for yourself, but you cannot change what other people do. The only thing you can do is change your reactions and behavior in response to the situation. You should always keep in mind that guys have their own values and beliefs. Usually, they are going to do what’s best for them, so you may not be able to rely on them to always do what you want them to.

22. Try Not to Feel Guilty

You might be going through a lot of guilt. Maybe you feel responsible for what happened, or maybe you think it’s all your fault. It’s normal to feel guilty, but be sure not to let guilt eat you up. Guilt will only make you want to dwell in the past, and prevent you from moving on with your life. It’s time to forgive yourself and live in the present. Whether the breakup was your fault or not, you need to accept what happened and move forward.

23. Try Not to Be Too Much of a Victim

It sucks when someone ghosts on you. It feels like the world is collapsing on you, and you feel like a victim of rejection. You may be tempted to take your anger out on him by sending a scathing text message or social media post. Don’t do it! Nothing good comes from a negative attitude. It’s natural to feel hurt, but don’t let this feeling of victimization take over you. Just because he ghosted on you, it doesn’t mean that you’re a loser or that you’ll always get ghosted. Acting too much like a victim will only make you seem weak and pitiful. It may also make you lose your confidence in yourself, so don’t let that happen. Keep yourself busy instead of obsessing over the past.

Final Thoughts

Don’t let a breakup steal your happiness. Sometimes life gets hard, and you may feel like giving up. But remember that everything will pass. Time will bury your troubles and you’ll gain control of your life in the end. When you do, you’ll realize what a great life you’ve actually had.

Take the time to move on and get out of the house. Put all your energy into building yourself up. Take care of your health, and start something new in your life that will make you happy. Remember to be patient, because getting over a breakup takes time. Know that you’re not a loser. It’s okay to cry and yell as much as you want, but don’t let sadness overcome you. In the end, time will heal your heart and give you the life that you deserve.  

 

Further Reading

 

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