Should You Text Your Ex You Miss Them?

Recently a friend of mine told me that she keeps texting her ex-boyfriend because she misses him. She texts him good morning, and she texts him to say that she miss him. She also sends him pictures and videos of her cooking dinner, and she says that it’s because she wants him to know how much he means to her. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I asked her.

“Why not?” she asked. “It’s the little things that matter.”

My friend is not the first person to tell me that they text their ex because they miss them. I’m sure that most exes do miss each other because they are used to being in a relationship. There are many reasons to text an ex. Maybe you’ve been single for a long time, so you need someone to talk to. Maybe you want someone’s opinion on something, or maybe you want someone to see what you’re doing in your life right now. There are many reasons why people text their exes.

However, there are some things that you should be careful about. Texting your ex is not only a sign that you still want him or her, it’s also a sign that you are not ready to end things all together. It can also be a way of putting pressure on your ex, making him or her feel guilty if he or she doesn’t want to get back together with you.

Here are some questions you should ask yourself before you text your ex you miss them. You need to make sure you know the answer to the following questions before jumping into such a rash decision.

33 Questions You Should and Shouldn’t Text Your Ex You Miss Him

1. What Is Your Goal? Do You Want Them Back or Just Want Closure?

If you want to get your ex back into a relationship with you, you need to be patient and plan out a strategy. If your goal is just to get closure, then there are other ways of going about it. For example, if you’re “friends,” have a blunt conversation in person or over the phone.

2. Is This the Right Time?

Wait until you’ve both had time to cool off. Don’t rush to a text message exchange if you’re still mad at each other. The next time they see you, they will be even more upset and it could lead to an argument.

3. Is This a Good Way to Show you Care If They’re Upset?

Don’t fuel the fire by texting them, “I miss you.” They may be trying to move on. You don’t want to be begging for them back or making them feel bad if they’re not ready, especially if they’ve moved on.

4. Can This Cause More Problems?

It could make matters worse. It’s one thing to “be friends” with someone. It’s another to really want them back, it’s pretty clear that this is a different scenario. You need to be careful and logical in your text messages. You don’t want them to think that you’re crazy or too needy.

5. Are You Prepared for a Rejection?

Rejection is part of life, and if you’re going to be rejected by your significant other, it’s better for it to happen in person than over a text message. They may not even respond, and they might also say they’re not ready for a relationship at the moment.

6. Are You Prepared to Take the Risk?

Think carefully about your goals and think about the consequences before attempting this strategy. It’s best to handle things on your own, but sometimes it’s necessary to ask for help. And make sure you know who you’re asking advice from.

7. How Much Are You Willing to Risk?

Sometimes you don’t know if you’ve text messaged your ex the right way. They may not reply, and even when they do, their replies and responses may make you nervous. If you don’t want an argument, or you just want closure, then it’s better to do it in person.

8. Do You Feel Like They Are Owed a Response?

It’s natural to want your ex to respond to you, especially if it feels like the breakup came out suddenly. However, if you’re trying to make them respond because of these feelings or because you feel like they owe it to you, then this is going to lead to more stress and confusion. Let it go and focus on improving your life instead of texting your ex.

9. Do You Need to “Keep Your Options Open”?

If you have someone else in mind, it’s better to let your ex go and focus your attention on the person you really want. This may be hard to do, but if this is the route you’re going to take, it’s best to do that sooner rather than later.

10. Are They Still in Love With You?

You’ll never know for sure what got your ex to re-think the breakup, but if you want them back, then it may be a good idea to send that text message. He or she may be ready to try again because they miss you and want to get back together with you.

11. Is It Really Necessary?

You may not be interested in a relationship with them right now, and that’s okay. If this is the case, why risk it by sending a text message?

12. Will They Miss You and Respond to You?

You don’t want to send a text message if they just deleted your number from their phone or haven’t been on social media in months. If this is the case, they could be dating someone new or have completely moved on.

13. What Is Your Overall Plan?

You need to have a plan before you do these types of things. You want to know what your next steps will be if you don’t get the response you were hoping for. This way, nothing will catch you off guard, and you won’t end up feeling more hurt by the experience.

14. Can You Save Your Relationship?

If you’re trying to get back with your ex and they’re still interested in you, this may be the right thing to do. Just don’t immediately text them after the breakup and start begging for them back. You need to wait a little while, let them miss you, and then contact them.

15. Are They Trying to Move On?

If they are, you should let them go. It’s not worth it to continuously text them. They’re trying to move on with their life, and you’re just going to hold them back if you keep texting and messaging them.

16. Is There Still a Friendship?

If you are truly a “friend,” then you have nothing to worry about. You and your ex are still good friends, so it would make sense to continue to be friendly. However, if you want something more than being friends, and you think they do too, then it’s a good idea to send that text message or tell them in person.

17. Do You Have Too Much Time on Your Hands?

If you’re texting your ex rather than hanging out with friends, working on a passion project or going to the gym, it might be time to start prioritizing how you spend your time. There’s nothing wrong with spending some of that time to enjoy the company of others, but if all you’re doing is obsessing over your ex, it’s time to get your life back into the right shape.

18. What About Their New Relationship?

If they have someone else, then you need to think about your motives. What are you trying to accomplish? Why do you want them back? Getting over a breakup has its ups and downs, and it’s not always a bad thing to take some time to get your mind off of it. But if you’re really struggling with this, it might be better for you to focus on work or on activities that are important to you instead.

19. Do You Feel Like You Weren’t Treated Fairly?

Sometimes after an emotional separation, we have the tendency to blame the other person for causing these feelings. This can lead us to need to contact our ex and make them feel bad about how they treated us. If you’re going to text your ex, be sure to keep these emotions separate from your thoughts. Remember that only you can make yourself feel better. Don’t let your ex control your emotions. Focus on how you can become a better person and learn to appreciate life again in the future.

20. Are You Trying to Get Revenge?

You shouldn’t text your ex if you’re trying to get back at them for their behavior. It will only create more issues and problems. This will make you feel worse about yourself in the end and can ruin any chance that you have at reconciliation with your ex. Instead of trying to get revenge on your ex, focus on improving your life and working on your goals.

21. Are You Trying to Make Them Jealous?

Do you want to get back together with your ex or do you just want to make them jealous? If it’s the latter, then it’s not a good idea to text them. Your goal should be to be happy and make yourself feel good. This will help you to focus on your life instead of dwelling on the past. If you keep in contact with your ex, then it will be hard for you to move on. They’ll keep a hold over you and drag you back down into a depressed state of mind.

22. Do You Feel That They Didn’t Respect You?

Are you tired of thinking about your ex and feeling like everything that you did for them didn’t matter? Are they still saying the same things over and over again that make you feel like you’re being treated poorly and disrespected? Texting them will only create more issues for you to deal with. Instead of focusing on the past, try working on your future and what you can do to improve it. You deserve better in life.

23. Are You Trying to Make Them Miss Something?

Maybe you’re trying to bring back the memories of when you were together, or even when you first met. You’re trying to bring them back right? You want them back, and that’s why you’re texting them, right? You have a lot on your mind , and you’re trying to connect more. You may be more than willing to give them another chance, but if they are telling you that they aren’t interested in a relationship with you again, they don’t want to text or call you, they have deleted your number from their phone, they don’t answer the phone when you call them – you need to learn to back off.

24. Are You Trying to Feel Better About Yourself?

You might be trying to get back with an ex to gain the self-esteem boost that comes from having someone want you. This is not a good idea because it will lead to an even bigger loss of self-esteem when you see that they aren’t interested in being with you. You’ll feel worse about yourself and it’s not worth it. You deserve to be with the person who is going to treat you the way that you deserve, and make you feel loved and appreciated.

25. Do You Want Them to Apologize?

There is no reason for them to apologize if they don’t really feel like they did anything wrong. They hurt you, but they probably only did it because they were feeling hurt at the time. If you want them to apologize, you need to accept that it was their choice. You cannot make them apologize if they don’t want to.

26. Do You Feel Guilty?

Do you feel like it’s your fault that you broke up? Do you feel like you owe them something because of this? Do you feel the need to prove yourself to them, or do you feel bad for hurting them? They probably do not feel the same way about you, and they are not thinking about you at all. If you really want to text your ex, then you can’t expect them to want to talk to you just because you’re feeling sorry for them.

27. Do You Feel Like a Victim in This Scenario?

You might be trying to text your ex because you think you were treated poorly. You might even feel like you’ve been verbally or physically abused by them. You might feel hurt because they didn’t respect your feelings and goals. They hurt you, and now you’re hurt. There is nothing wrong with being emotional about this, but if you ’re the type of person who needs to get revenge on your ex, then this is not going to benefit you. Part of moving forward is learning to forgive and forget, and but if you can’t get over the past, it will always haunt you.

28. Do They Have a New Person in Their Life Already?

Be careful, because if they are already in a relationship with someone new, then it’s not a good idea to text them. That could make them feel uncomfortable or nervous. They probably hate to see your name on the screen or to see a text message from you. Don’t make their life any more complicated than it already is. They probably want to give the new relationship a try, so don’t interfere with that.

29. Are You Trying to Prove a Point?

Sometimes you may be trying to prove a point to your ex. They are the ones that broke up with you, so you’re trying to show them that you remain stable and happy in your life. You may be trying to impress them, and you want them to be jealous. Maybe you want to make them feel bad because of something that happened in the past. But these are not good reasons to text your ex. Texting them is not going to help you to improve your own life, and it’s not going to make you feel good about yourself.

30. Are You Prepared to Deal With Their Reaction?

If you’re going to text your ex, you should consider what his or her reaction will be. This is important to consider before you decide to text your ex. You should know what reaction you want from them before you decide to act. Are you ready for it? Will you be able to handle the rejection if your ex decides that they just want to be friends or they are interested in somebody else? Is this a good time for you to face those emotions and get your closure?

31. Are You Prepared to Hear Them Say That They Have Someone Else?

You might be tempted to text your ex to see if he or she is with someone else. You might even be hoping that they will tell you that they have not moved on. But your instincts tell you that they may have moved on, and you’re just looking for confirmation. It may be difficult for you to hear them say that they have someone else. But if you truly want them back, then being prepared for that reaction and not being disappointed by it is very important.

32. Do You Think That It Was All Your Fault?

Do you feel that you could have prevented this breakup? Maybe you feel like it was all your fault. Maybe you could have done something differently to avoid this from happening. You might be tempted to contact your ex so that you can apologize for whatever you feel like you did wrong. But before you do that, consider how they are thinking. Are you going to make them feel bad by texting them? Are they already in a happy relationship with someone else and just want to be left alone? You need to realize that your ex may not be thinking the same way you are.

33. Are You Trying to Control Them?

If you’re trying to text your ex, you may just be feeling insecure. You may have a lot of anxiety and fear when it comes to dealing with the breakup. You might be trying to control your ex by reaching out to them. You don’t want them to move on with their life without you. You may be trying to prevent them from dating someone else. But this is not fair to them, and it could actually end up hurting you even more. You need to learn to deal with your emotions and feelings on your own without needing to control your ex.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, there’s no set of rules saying that you have to text your ex or that you shouldn’t text your ex if they break up with you. However, if you do decide to reach out and contact them, it’s important that you understand the possible consequences and how they can affect your relationship in the future.

If you feel like you’re ready to do this, then it’s important to make sure that you’re prepared for all of the consequences. Your ex may respond and accept your text message, but it may also just end up making things worse for you both in the long run. It’s best to wait until you feel absolutely ready to contact your ex.

You should be confident in yourself and have a plan of action in mind before you text or contact your ex. Keep yourself in check and don’t let your emotions control what you do. Most importantly, don’t give up if these text messages don’t work out the way you wanted them to. Try something new until you and your ex are able to connect again in the future.


Further Reading


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