So you were really happy with your ex, but he dumped you… and now you’re having a hard time getting over him. You’ve cried, you’ve hurt yourself, and now all that’s left is the fear of letting go. The fear of feeling rejection again. The fear of being alone. Soon enough, the love you have for him will fade away and you’ll be left with only bitter memories of what once was.
The truth is, this sort of thing will happen to every relationship that ends. One of you will be hurt, there will be consequences, and it’ll all just lead to more pain and more time apart. But the thing is… you can’t just give up on him. You can’t just sit there and let him walk away without at least trying to make things better for yourself.
If you’re still in love with your ex and you want him back, you have to get him to realize how wrong he was. You have to get him to want you again. If he’s already moved on, it’s going to be a little bit harder, but not impossible. If you’re willing to put in the hard work, it can work out in your favor and the two of you will be back together in no time. Here are some tips to get your ex back after a painful breakup.
33 Things You Should Do When You’re Still In Love With Your Ex and Want Him Back
1) Stay Strong after a Breakup
This is the first thing that you need to do after a breakup. If you plan on getting your ex back, then you’re going to have to stay strong and keep your head in the game. Don’t fall into depression or else it’ll be hard for you to formulate a good relationship with him again.
2) Know What You Want
Do you want to get your ex back? Do you just want to be friends? Think about your situation. Are there still feelings there that you can work with? Is this relationship important enough that you’re willing to put in the time and energy, even if it’s difficult? If not, then there’s no point in trying to move forward.
3) Be Patient with Yourself
The most important thing to do when dealing with a breakup is learning how to be patient with yourself. Getting involved with someone again too quickly can ruin the relationship completely. Take control of your emotions and process through what happened. It’s not the end of the world, you’ll be just fine.
4) Reassure Yourself of Your Desirability
People often get afraid of being alone because they don’t know how to be happy without someone. If you’re only going to be with someone because you’re scared, then you might as well stay single forever. If you’re able to stand by yourself and be at peace with the idea of not having a partner in your life, then it’ll be easier for your ex to come back when he should.
5) Keep a Positive Outlook
Take control of your life and focus on the things that make you smile. Do things that you enjoy, that you’ve always wanted to do. Be positive and believe that the breakup was just temporary, a stop on the road that you’re on. You’ll bring in a lot more positives than negatives when dealing with your ex again.
6) Take Care of Yourself
Exercise, eat healthy, and take care of your appearance. The best thing you can do for yourself is to feel that you’re deserving of love by looking good on the outside. Making yourself look good will put you in a better mood. When you feel confident and ready to go, it might be easier for you to get close with your ex.
7) Present a Better Version of Yourself
People are always attracted to the person that looks and feels like they’re doing well. If you don’t look good, you’ll seem like a mess. If you don’t feel good, it’ll seem like you’re not having fun with your life. Try not to dwell on what happened between you and your ex – focus on how things can be better in the future.
8) Go Out and Socialize
After a breakup, it’s all too easy to just stay in the house and mope around. But if you want your ex back, then socializing is key. Go out with friends, get out of the house, and make new friends that will help you. It’ll help you feel better about yourself and it’ll help you get out of the rut that you’re in.
9) Do What You Want to Do
This is something that really works for me personally. I always told myself to do what made me happy and take care of myself. For instance, you may want to go on a walk, or bake some cookies. You may want to just write in your journal about the day, or watch your favorite movie. Whatever it is for you, make sure it makes you happy and puts you in a better mood. When he sees you happy and looking pretty he will be attracted to that.
10) Use Social Media to Your Advantage
Despite what you may think, you can still contact him on social media. He has a Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter account probably, and if you want them back, all it takes is a little bit of strategy. Post pictures of you and your friends, talk about what he likes, and just do whatever you can to remind him that he’s missing out on a great thing. Sometimes, this doesn’t work as well as you’d think. Your ex can be insensitive to this sort of thing at times, but if he loves you, he’ll eventually come around.
11) Take Your Time
Don’t rush things too much when trying to get your ex back. You’re not going to win him back by being pushy or desperate. The thing you should be paying attention to is what you want out of the relationship, not how fast you can achieve it.
12) Keep Your Communication Open
Communication needs to be open if you’re going to get back together with your ex boyfriend. Make sure that you don’t start lying and hiding things from him, because he’ll simply feel more and more distant. If you’re honest with him, it’ll make it a lot easier for both of you to move on together.
13) Take Care of Your Reputation
This is another one of those things that people don’t really think about until it’s too late. If you’ve made a change in your life for the good and people know about it, they’ll think highly of you. Let him know that you’re taking care of yourself and working on positive things and he’ll respect you.
14) Don’t Wait By the Phone – Be Busy
If you wait by the phone waiting for your ex boyfriend to call or text, you’re not really going to get anywhere. Instead, go out and do things that you enjoy. Go out with your friends. Go shopping. Get a new job or hobby if you have to. If he wants to reach out, he will – just don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
15) Be Grateful for Your Ex
It’s very easy to fall into the trap of despising your ex after a breakup, but it doesn’t help anybody. Unfortunately, you’re not going to get him back if you have a negative attitude about him. Instead, be grateful for the time that you spend with him and appreciate the good things that he’s done for you.
16) Understand His Motives
If your ex boyfriend is the type of person that leaves you for his job, understand that he’s not doing it because he doesn’t care about you. He’s doing it because that’s what he thinks is best for himself at the time. There are always reasons, and those reasons won’t go away overnight – but they’ll start to fade if you maintain a confident attitude about the situation.
17) Make His Friends Like You
If your ex boyfriend’s friends like you, there’s a big chance that you’ll get him back! This is a great way to make him jealous and want you back fast. He’s probably been telling his friends how much he misses you and that you’re the perfect girl for him.
18) Establish a Connection
You’d be surprised at how powerful a connection can be. If you’re able to find ways to connect with him again in a positive way, you’re going to have much more success than you expected. You can’t just reconnect, though – you have to reconnect in a way that appeals to him. Everything has to be genuine. You’re not going to get him back by signing up for a dating site or by joining his favorite sports team. You have to make sure that you’re connecting on some deeply personal level. Do things that are meaningful to him and that are meaningful to you. Then, things will sort themselves out. It might take some time, but it will work out in the end.
19) Learn How to Cook
It’s one of the secrets to a long-term relationship, after all. You’re guaranteed to get along better with your ex if you can cook for him better than his last girlfriend. And if you’re able to whip up some tasty treats for him, he might even start wondering what he did to deserve such a goddess like you.
20) Be His Friend
One of the fastest ways to get back together with your ex after breaking up is to stay friends with him. There’s nothing more attractive than having someone willing to talk about life and their experiences. He’ll be able to feel the magic and passion between the two of you come back, or at least that’s what you want him to think. This will make him reminisce about how great things were with you. It may even make him want to have you back! Then, it’ll be up to you to decide if it’s worth it bringing him back into your life.
21) Attend Events He’s Attending
Even if you’re not necessarily interested in the event that he’s attending, it will help you stay updated on what he’s doing and who he’s hanging out with. It’ll also give you an opportunity to be around him. Don’t be too obvious about it, though. He needs to feel like you’re there to support him just as a friend.
22) Let Him Know What He’s Missing
You can do this by showing him pictures of you at events. You can also do this by posting things on your social media accounts so that he sees them. It’ll remind him of what a great life you’re having, and it will make him think about how great it would be to have you back in his life.
23) Focus on What’s Important to Him
If your ex wants to move on with his life, he’s going to want to get back to the things that are most important to him. You’ll have to figure out what that is. Do some research about him. See what his passions are, see what he’s doing with his time now. That will give you a better idea of what is important to him, and then you can approach him with your ideas on how he can put his life back on track.
24) Be a Friend to His Friends
If you’re able to get along with his friends, you’re going to be a lot more likely to get along with him again too. They’ll be able to give you more insight into the type of person that he is. They can also help you open a line of communication with him. Just make sure that you stay on good terms with his friends, because if they start to dislike you, it’ll be much harder to get back together.
25) Don’t Play the Victim
If you’re playing the victim, there’s not much that you can do to get back together with your ex. You need to be self-sufficient and independent. Your ex needs to see that you’re doing great living on your own, and he needs to see that you’re happy being without him. You can have a positive outlook on life without making it seem like he’s at fault for breaking up with you or for his part in it.
26) Go to His Favorite Places
If you can get into the places that he likes to go, it’ll be a lot easier for you to get back together with him. Just make sure that you’re going there legitimately, like to go for a bite to eat or just to enjoy yourself. You don’t want him to think that you’re only there because you’re trying to get back together with him. That’s the last thing that you want him thinking.
27) Don’t Be the Same Person You Were When You Broke Up
You need to make sure that you’re not the same person that you were when things broke up between the two of you. You need to have made some positive changes in your life and you need to have grown as a person. If you haven’t, it’s going to make it that much more difficult for you to get back together with him. People change, and your ex wants to know that you’ve changed in a positive way. If you’re able to prove it to him, he’ll be more likely to take you back!
28) Don’t Gossip About Your Ex
Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If you’re gossiping about your ex to your friends or on social media, you’ll never be able to get back together with him. If you want to be friends with him, you need to trust him and respect him. If you’re still jealous of his new girlfriend or bitter about the breakup, it’ll be impossible for things to work out between you. Don’t do it – that will only hurt both of you.
29) Make Him Miss You
If you really want to get back together with your ex boyfriend, make sure that you keep him thinking about you. He may not realize it yet, but you can still do things to make him think of you. Send him an email or a text. Send him a picture that you took together or with his friends. Even give him a gift to show how much you care for him and miss him. Make sure that he knows that you’re thinking about him and thinking about how the two of you might get back together again. That will make him think about you more and more, making it easier to get back together!
30) Don’t Go Back to Him Too Soon
You have to be cautious with this one. If you don’t wait long enough, you may actually be hurting your chances of getting back together with him. If you go back to him too soon, he may be too angry or he may think that you’re not being serious. Wait until you’re sure that you want to get back with him and that you’ve made some of the important changes that might be necessary to make it work this time around. Otherwise, he’ll feel like you’re trying to manipulate him into taking you back.
31) Don’t Compare Yourself to His New Girlfriend
You may be smart, you may be beautiful, you may have lots of friends, but if you’re comparing yourself to his new girlfriend, it’s not going to help your chances of getting back together. It’s going to make him feel like you’re not confident enough in yourself. So, don’t do it. Just focus on what makes you an awesome girlfriend and what makes you attractive. Then, make sure that you show him those things time and time again.
32) Get Everyone Involved
You need to drum up some support from everyone around you. This doesn’t have to be your friends and family. It could be the landlord of your apartment building, it could be his best friends, it could even be his coworkers. You just need to find ways to get everyone together. You’ll need their support to make sure that you’re doing what’s right, and they’ll be able to help you take the steps in a positive direction.
33) Give Him the Opportunity to Consider a Reunion
You need to make sure that you don’t jump into things too soon. You’ve got to give him the opportunity to get himself ready for a reunion between the two of you. Get his friends and family involved by asking them to talk to him about the situation. It will help he think about what you’re trying to say to him. You don’t want to be too pushy or aggressive about it, either. Be honest and give him a chance to come around on his own.
If you’re looking for ways to get an ex boyfriend back, you’re going to have to make sure that you do some work. It’s not just going to happen overnight, and it’s certainly not going to happen on its own. You’ve got to put in some effort in order for it to happen. You’ve also got to be willing to accept the fact that you may have to change some things about yourself in order for the relationship to work out. If you can do all of those things, then you’re going to have a much better chance of getting back together with your ex boyfriend.
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